Monday, February 1, 2010

The Limerick Summary: 2010 Farmers Insurance Open

Winner: Ben Crane

Doctor EvilGroovy, baby!

Yes, it seems that Dr. Evil has once again reared his ugly mug and, in a scene out of what could be called "The Guy Who Ragged Me," has attempted to bilk the Tour out of ONE MILLION DOLLARS! (Ok, it was more like $954,000 first place money. Pretty close, though!) The beauty of his plan is... it only took a few "squares" to put it into action. Everyone has been cast in his role now, from Phil Mickelson to Scott McCarron to Tim Finchem to the USGA to Callaway to Ping to... did I forget someone? I'm sure I did. Nevertheless, the Farmers Insurance Open was completed on time.

And Dr. Evil will not be cashing the check... at least, not this week.

Despite some stumbles down the stretch (and let's be honest, everybody stumbled down the stretch in this one), Ben Crane stumbled less than anybody else, so he gets the starring role in this picture. Since I'm reaching for any Austin Powers-inspired connection I can find, I'm going to describe his play as "laser-like" - which isn't too far off, really. He played pretty well except for a few bad putts Sunday, and almost everybody had trouble with the soft greens of Torrey Pines last week.

It's a shame that the Tour has yet another image problem to deal with, especially so close on the heels of Tailgate and with all the economic problems facing the country. Unfortunately, the groove issue can't be shipped off to some out-of-the-way testing facility until it gets its act together. Where's Felicity Shagwell when we need her? (And before you say it, I'm pretty sure she's nowhere near Tiger.)

Perhaps I should just move on to today's summary, huh?
It sounds like a Mike Myers movie:
Will Phil be a square, or just groovy?
While some traded glowers,
Ben Crane showed his powers
And burned all the others like UV.

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