2010 Bob Hope Classic
Winner: Bill Haas
Haas and Clark, Watson and Kuchar –
Of these four, which three got the blucher?
On eighteen, a birdie
Put Haas minus thirty
And now he’s a first-trophy smoocher.
2010 Farmers Insurance Open
Winner: Ben Crane
It sounds like a Mike Myers movie:
Will Phil be a square, or just groovy?
While some traded glowers,
Ben Crane showed his powers
And burned all the others like UV.
2010 Northern Trust Open
Winner: Steve Stricker
While grooves cause the others to bicker,
They don’t seem to bother Steve Stricker.
His spin on competing?
Leave no room for cheating…
Or even for hope. Not a flicker.
2010 AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am
Winner: Dustin Johnson
Celebrity players were lustin’
For the leading man’s role, played by Dustin.
When you crush it a mile,
You just wave and you smile…
And you win the award for ball-bustin’.
2010 WGC-Accenture Match Play Championship
Winner: Ian Poulter
Internationals turned gladiatorial
As they gave the U.S. a tutorial
About playing to win –
And then Poulter chimed in
That the true victor’s prize is sartorial!
2010 Waste Management Phoenix Open
Winner: Hunter Mahan
Hunter’s thirst for a win wasn’t bigger
Than the thirst at 16. See, I figger
Once they drained all the beer,
With no players to jeer
All the fans hit the bars for a jigger.