Shoe: I just spotted your problem, Perfessor. You're standing too close to the ball... AFTER you hit it.And my favorite:
I really need to take up a new sport... one that's easier to conceal.
Cosmo: How far is it to the cup?
Skyler: About 5 putts.
My swing is instant bogey... just add water.
Shoe: Your problem is weight transfer during the swing. You usually have to make TWO trips.
Well, put it this way, Shoe: The course record is 63... At this rate, you'll hit that by the 3rd hole.
Shoe: You need just one thing to get to the point where you can shoot your age.
Cosmo: What's that?
Shoe: Live to 112.
Sign on golf course: Please help us keep our golf course beautiful! Leave those pants in your closet. (I confess: I immediately thought of John Daly.)
Shoe: According to my calculations, I'm lying two here. What do you think?
Cosmo: I think you're lying, too...
You know, there's a fine line between a bogie and a birdie... and I've often erased it.
Shoe: Want to hit a bucket of balls before we tee off?Enjoy your day!
Cosmo: Nah. Half the shots in a game of golf are putts, so I'd rather spend the time working on that aspect of my game.
Shoe: Then I'll meet you on the practice green.
Cosmo: No, I'll be in the parking lot... practicing my swearing.