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Monday, January 16, 2012

The Limerick Summary: 2012 Sony Open

Winner: Johnson Wagner

Around the wider world of golf: Another week without much going on yet. Branden Grace got his first ET win at the Joberg Open in South Africa.

Man, this caterlipper itches!

When it looked (after the third round) as if Matt Every was going to win, I had a brilliant idea. After the media brouhaha over his brush with the police, I jotted down a Limerick Summary giving him a brush with an entirely different Police -- a limerick based on the song "Every Step You Take." Oh, it was sooooo clever.

Alas, sometimes the best-laid plans go awry. They certainly did for Matt Every. Of course, every (Every?) player seeking their first PGA Tour win goes through this process at one time or another. But it meant my musical tribute was all for naught.

Uh, not quite. I was inspired. If pop stars couldn't get it done, perhaps a classical composer could!

Alright, Johnson Wagner isn't quite Richard Wagner. (You do know that's pronounced Rikard Vogner, don't you?) But the composer's masterpiece, the four-opera cycle called Der Ring des Nibelungen -- literally The Ring of the Nibelung but perhaps better known as The Ring Cycle -- seemed quite appropriate for Johnson's win.

The Ring Cycle is based on old Norse and German myths, and centers around a magic ring that can give its owner the power to rule the world. (Sound familiar, Lord of the Ring fans?) The mortal hero Sigfried and his lover, the Valkyrie Brünnhilde are major characters. Golf holes aren't gold, but they're certainly rings; and PGA victories could be viewed as power bestowed by them...

I'm sure you can see where this is all going.

Being the animation fan that I am, you're probably not surprised to learn that all of this triggered a fond memory of Chuck Jones's What's Opera, Doc? starring Elmer Fudd as Sigfried and Bugs Bunny in drag as his beloved Brünnhilde. On the outside chance you've never seen it -- it's considered Jones's magnum opus -- here's a YouTube version:

I don't know if the original Sigfried had a caterlipper going on like Johnson Wagner did, but at least Johnson didn't die at the end of his performance. Johnson triumphed over all those little rings in the ground, coming from out of nowhere to win by 2 strokes over his four closest competitors. Not only that, he even got his own little ticket to Valhalla.

Well, most pros consider Augusta to be the equivalent. Having never been there, I don't know if Valkyries guide the first-timers down Magnolia Lane or not.

At any rate, here's a very classical Limerick Summary celebrating Wagner's entry into the glorious circle of winners. I guess you could call them the Fellowship of the Rings:
Like Brünnhilde reclined in her bower,
This vict'ry's a magical flower.
The putts Wagner downed
Through rings in the ground
Imbued him with Master-ful power.
The photo came from the front page of

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