Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Anchors Away

As we all expected, the R&A and the USGA lowered the boom on anchored putters Tuesday.  It remains to be seen what the PGA and the PGA Tour will do in response, but we can expect things to be a bit tense for a while.

In the meantime, I thought a little song parody might be appropriate. I've been working on it for a couple of months now, searching for just the right song and approach... and I think I found it!

As I've said before, I don't use an anchored putter but I don't believe they give anybody an advantage either -- in fact, I believe players have been winning on the strength of good iron play, and anchored putters are actually holding them back. It didn't take me long to decide I would write an anthem for all those maligned players who wield anchored putters.

As for the music... it's possible that some of you have never heard the song Sex and Candy by Marcy Playground. However, it's the perfect tune for this song. Perfect, I say! For those of you who are unfamiliar with it, I'm sure you'll agree after you hear it. Here's the video:



Anchors Away (with apologies to Marcy Playground)
R&A
And the USGA had a lot to say
About them belly putters
   And the way they're swung
They hate the way they're held
   And how they're swung
They're gonna make us change

Anchors away -- it's not fair
'Cause my putting makes me swear
Now they're casting devious stares at my mechanics
Mama, they're surly and they're mean, yeah
Yeah Mama, vindictive and obscene -- bigots

Now "the Man"
Is coming down on me because he don't give a damn
About my yippy putting stroke --
   My game is done
He broke my magic wand --
   My game is done
I just can't make the change

Anchors away -- it's not fair
They're not pulling out their hair
But they're casting devious stares at my mechanics
Mama, they're surly and they're mean, yeah
Yeah Mama, vindictive and obscene -- bigots
Yeah, Hannibal Lecters on the green, yeah

Anchors away -- don't they care
That my game's in disrepair
While they're casting devious stares at my mechanics
Mama, they're surly and they're mean -- bigots
Yeah Mama, vindictive and obscene
They're Hannibal Lecters on the green, yeah
Their meddling just makes me blaspheme
Maybe Jake Trout will decide to record this one! It's got greatness written all over it...

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