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Saturday, February 23, 2013

All the Number Ones Go Boom

Rory. Tiger. Luke. Louis. They're all gone.

Match play -- especially at the WGC-Accenture -- is always a nasty thing. Sometimes upsets aren't really upsets, but when the big boys go boom in the first two rounds... yeah, those are upsets.

Initially I considered calling this post Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Number One -- a play on an old country song title -- but decided it was too long. Likewise, The Number Ones Get Number Two struck me as a bit gross (though strangely satisfying). However, they spurred me to come up with possible headlines for some of the other matches.

For example, Tim Clark's 3&2 beating of Thorbjorn Olesen gave me Thunderbear Brutalized with Broomstick.

Hunter Mahan's 4&3 victory over Richard Sterne could only result in A Sterne Defeat.

Nicolas Colsaerts finished 4&2 over Justin Rose, giving me Belgian Bomber Busts Brit. (Although I also liked The Thorn in Rose's Side.)

Fredrik Jacobson's 4&3 win over Marcus Fraser could only be Down Goes Fraser! Down Goes Fraser! (The famous line uttered by sportscaster Howard Cosell after boxer George Foreman decked Joe Frazier.)

Charles Howell III beat Tiger in the first round then fell to Gonzalo Fernandez-Castano in the second, once again busting my Gary Player bracket. (I guess I'll replace him with Mahan.) For this double disappointment CHIII gets the headline First Chuck's Up, Then He Upchucks.

Shane Lowry and Graeme McDowell's victories over Carl Pettersson and Alex Noren, respectively, could be considered Lepre-Cans. (A play on leprechauns, those little Irish guys with the pots of gold.) And since the two will play each other in the third round, I suppose that match could be billed as Only One Pint Left.

But in the end, two of my original picks -- Fredrik Jacobson and Ian Poulter -- are still alive and could conceivably face each other in the finals. Although Freddie is playing well enough to win, I'm pretty sure I'll be writing about The Way the Game Is Plaid.

Or perhaps, as with this post, Plaid for All It's Worth.

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